Fatigue or Lazy?

Bzzzzzz. bzzz ...the sound getting louder and louder in my head. My head is spinning, most likely due to lack of sleep. Ironically I used to sleep so much less but didn't feel as tired. Nowadays I sleep much more and earlier but I still feel like I've not slept for years. Gone were the days where I could do a whole night gaming without closing my eyes. Gone were the days where I could just barely sleep 4hrs and still feel fresh. I understand I am no longer young. I felt the full effects of aging at 30 when I woke up one day. It felt like one of the gear had a chipped tooth and things don't run as smoothly.

That starts me thinking, my life isn't exactly hectic. My usual routine will be going to work in the morning. Going out with friends for dinner. Going home to watch TV and set myself to prepare for the next day work. Nothing particularly tiring or even consider tough. I know a few friends who are working day and night with no chance to see the sun. I always consider myself lucky that I got an easier job compare to them.

However In my heart there are so many more things I want to do. Yet my body and brain doesn't seems to be able to connect. My head starts giving me jolts of pain whenever I tune my brains to do things. I attribute this to fatigue....or my laziness. So very often I will push these thoughts aside and convinced myself that I will do it when I'm free (another sign of laziness). Come to think of it, I have never snap out of my fatigue ever since I started working. Can I afford to wait until I retire? By then I might be even too weak and slow to start anything. Can't say I'm very motivated, if you know me for most part of my life nothing much motivates me. I don't even have the urges to try new things. To explore, to understand, to learn is all just a distance memory. Yet I will feel that rejuvenation whenever I come across something new and exciting. However that kind of feeling eludes me greatly nowadays and I am in no hurry to find it. That's laziness but I'm very sure I'm tired. Or is fatigue an excuse I give for my laziness? My mind starts drifting out again....and sitting here feels rather comfy.....yawn~

Today's weather is rather cold. Especially in hot and humid singapore it's very seldom we get this kind of temperature.

Enjoy while it last.....